Amid this decline, a noteworthy statistic emerges: 16.1% of marriages in 2023 involved at least one foreign spouse, highlighting the growing multicultural fabric of Italian unions.

The Changing Landscape of Italian Marriages

Italy’s marital trends are shaped by a combination of historical, cultural, and economic factors. A look back reveals pivotal moments in the country’s wedding history:

• The Millennium Surge: A spike in marriages in 2000 was attributed to couples eager to begin the new millennium with a union.
• Economic and Legal Barriers: The global financial crisis of 2008 and restrictive immigration laws in the late 2000s saw a sharp drop in weddings, particularly among foreign nationals.
• The Pandemic Impact: In 2020, COVID-19 halved the number of marriages. This was followed by a temporary surge in 2021 and 2022 as postponed ceremonies were rescheduled.

Civil Ceremonies Rise, Religious Weddings Decline

A significant cultural shift is evident in the choice of ceremony. Civil weddings accounted for 58.9% of all marriages in 2023, continuing a decades-long trend. Compare this to 1990, when religious weddings made up 83.2% of unions; by 2010, that number had dropped to 63.5%.

Religious marriages saw an 8.2% decline in 2023 alone, underscoring the waning influence of tradition and religious institutions in shaping modern marital choices.

Fewer Divorces and Separations

Interestingly, as marriages decline, so do divorces and separations. In 2023, separations fell by 8.4% compared to the previous year, totaling 82,392. Divorces also dropped to 79,875—a 3.3% decrease from 2022 and a dramatic 19.4% drop from their peak in 2016.

Why Are Italians Marrying Less?

The reasons behind this shift are complex, rooted in changing societal values and demographics:

1. The Rise of Cohabitation: The number of cohabiting couples has more than tripled since the early 2000s, surpassing 1.6 million in 2023. For many, living together has become a preferred alternative to marriage.
2. Demographic Winter: Italy’s aging population and low birth rate mean fewer individuals of marrying age. With marriage often tied to plans for children, this demographic shift significantly impacts the institution.
3. Extended Youth Dependence: Over 61% of Italians under 35 still live with their parents, delaying or abandoning traditional milestones like marriage in favor of financial and personal stability.

The Road Ahead

As Italy grapples with these trends, the institution of marriage is undergoing a profound transformation. Whether driven by cultural shifts, economic pressures, or demographic realities, the decline in weddings underscores a society in flux—where traditional unions are giving way to new forms of partnership and family.

For a country steeped in romantic ideals and rich matrimonial traditions, these changes invite reflection on the evolving meaning of love, commitment, and connection in contemporary Italy.

Thank you for reading our content. If you would like to receive ZENIT’s daily e-mail news, you can subscribe for free through this link.

The post Italy’s Shrinking Wedding Numbers: A Cultural and Demographic Shift appeared first on ZENIT - English.

The couple went to Guam, leaving their family, friends and work plans in Madrid. David was a Doctor of Anthropology and Maruxa an occupational therapist in mental health and family therapy. “Because, when God calls, you leave everything and the only thing that interests you is to follow Him.” In this regard, they say “we are witnesses of this Gospel because one who leaves home, siblings, parents or children for Me and for the Gospel, will receive a hundredfold – homes and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions –, and, in the age to come, eternal life. God has provided in abundance, we have never lacked anything, and on top of that certifies in us that eternal life exists.”

“God Exists and Is Father”

Maruxa says that they know  that “the mission helps us all, and it’s vital to abandon our plans to preserve our faith and that of our children. She also explains that a comfortable, assured life, and the desire to control the future makes you lose your bearings, and when you are “disorientated” you forget from Whom you have life. In that moment, you begin to believe that “you, yourself, give yourself life by working, saving, doing many things, and above all, you think you have everything under control.” And, in fact, it’s all the contrary, “when you let the Lord lead you, you truly begin to know Him.”

It’s an incredible experience “to know that God exists and that He is a Father, then you are no longer afraid of life.” In this regard, she specifies that “everything has its origin in God, who is Creator, the Author of life, hence, when He gives it to you, you have peace.”

“Our Life Is a Miracle Where God Acts”

In regard to the faith, she says it’s “not an accessory to the spiritual life,” it’s the “certainty that God exists and moves you to do incredible things” In this respect, she highlights that it’s because of faith that she continues married after 24 years, has 10 children, left her professional career without regretting the time she invested in it, lost her life of travelling, etc. She also points out that for the faith “we evangelize many afternoons and weekends, exhausting our body and spend many hours talking about Jesus Christ.” In short, “our life is a miracle where God acts.”

Gifts of the Mission

Maruxa explains that one of the gifts with which the Lord has blessed them was “the birth of our first daughter born in the Island, with Down’s syndrome and, with her also another gift, “the gift of opening ourselves to life” having our other children. She also said that her fourth daughter “was the door that opened us to life with joy, dissipating all fears to have more children.” 

“My Mission Is To Be” 

Another one of her children, Mateo, 21, arrived in Guam when he was  only three:  “I entered the mission through my parents who rose to give their life in the Island’s Redemptoris Mater Seminary. For a long time his mission was just to be “son”, but over time “I began to see that my mission was quite simple.” He explained that among his friends and the people of Guam, he was different in appearance, but also in purpose, so his mission is ”to be.” Mateo tries, “with the grace of the Holy Spirit, to be a Christian man and to be so in all his actions, to be able to represent Christ, and thus give some hope  to the people around me.” He also visits the prison “to proclaim the Good News to prisoners and attends the Eucharistic Celebration.” He explains, moreover, that another of his missions is to ”take care of my siblings so my parents can continue evangelizing.” 

“I Have a Mission in the Island of Guam”

Gabriel, 18, is the third child of Maruxa and David. He was only six months old when his parents arrived in Guam. When he arrived in the Island he didn’t speak English very well and when he was little he had no friends. In this regard he says that although it has been difficult to jump over some obstacles, he sees that “God has made him happy.” Moreover, he points out that the communities of the Neo-Catechumenal Way “help me to mature spiritually and see the love of God in my life and in the mission.” He says he loves the Island and has his mission there.

“God Loved Me Unconditionally”

When Maruxa was 12 years old her parents separated it, and she felt a void within her. During that time she thought that “love never lasted forever,” and she wanted to “please everyone, ”because that did give me security, it was like oxygen to live,” but I didn’t realize that I was mistaken because that enslaved me, I felt an existential suffocation, I always looked for a new guy to please or anyone who would pay attention to me. In short, she “wasn’t free,” she always had a “tremendous dissatisfaction“ and an “anxiety to seek.” However, one day she heard the Good News in her parish. There she heard that “God loves me unconditionally.” At that moment, an enormous joy invaded her. She realized that there was a place where she didn’t have to do anything, it was in the Church. And then she “stayed [in the Church] forever because I haven’t found this LOVE anywhere else.”

“Have a Daily Easter” 

Maruxa acknowledges that she now knows she has a treasure and that it is for everyone, namely, every man must be exposed to receive the Good News. Hence, have a daily Easter, namely, to pass from death to life, is the Christian’s movement, you die and receive life from God. ”It’s a wonderful plan and that’s our mission.”

“Go Out and Invite All to the Banquet”

In regard to DOMUND’s motto, “Go out and invite all to the banquet” [DOMUND is the World Day of Missions and in 2024 it was held on October 20, ndr]  she points out that there is a banquet prepared in Heaven for each one of us, but that we must begin this very day to live this Kingdom of Heaven on Earth. 

She also recalls that this year it’s been announced that we will live a Jubilee, therefore, it is the time to be reconciled with the Lord and with others, praying for forgiveness and also for a humble heart. Hence don’t forget, concluded Maruxa, that “we can me missionaries where we are, you only have  to open the treasure you have before you.”

The post 18 Years on Mission, in Marriage and with 10 Children (in Addition to 4 in Heaven) in An Island of the Pacific Ocean appeared first on ZENIT - English.

Speaking at the second session of the Synod on Synodality, Cardinal Ambongo, who serves as the president of the Symposium of Episcopal Conferences of Africa and Madagascar (SECAM), revealed that a draft document on the Church’s pastoral care for individuals in polygamous relationships is in progress. The cardinal emphasized that the Church needs to respond thoughtfully and compassionately to the reality of polygamy while maintaining its doctrinal teachings on marriage.

A Complex Issue with Deep Cultural Roots

Polygamy in Africa takes multiple forms, ranging from traditional marriages where a man has multiple wives to less common cases of polyandry, where a woman has several husbands. Cardinal Ambongo noted that polygamous relationships can vary widely in scope, from modest family units to cases involving chiefs with more than ten wives. In modern Africa, there are also emerging forms of polygamous cohabitation, including children born into such unions being legally recognized.

Despite this complexity, the cardinal made it clear that the Catholic Church in Africa remains committed to monogamy. “While we affirm the doctrinal elements of the faith, we cannot overlook the pastoral realities on the ground,” Ambongo stated, emphasizing the need for the Church to accompany those in polygamous unions.

Navigating Two Key Scenarios

The Church in Africa faces two primary situations in dealing with polygamy. In some cases, baptized Catholics are already engaged in polygamous relationships but continue to participate in parish activities, holding leadership roles in their communities. In other instances, individuals in polygamous relationships, though unbaptized, are drawn to the Church and seek spiritual guidance.

In both situations, Cardinal Ambongo stressed the importance of fostering respectful and compassionate dialogue. “We must engage these individuals as the representatives of a merciful Christ, reaching out to those on the spiritual and existential peripheries,” he said. This sentiment mirrors Pope Francis’ broader emphasis on mercy and accompaniment within the global Church.

Phased Approach to Developing the Document

The draft document will follow a four-phase development plan. The first phase involved a working group of experts identifying essential elements for a pastoral response to polygamy. With that foundation established, the second phase will see the draft circulated to African bishops’ conferences for review and feedback. Given the varying prevalence and cultural context of polygamy across different regions, this stage will ensure that local nuances are considered.

The Vatican’s Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith will also provide commentary during this phase. By July 2025, at the plenary meeting of SECAM, African bishops will collectively review and finalize the document. If approved, the fourth phase will involve presenting the text to the Vatican for additional theological guidance.

The Church’s Role in a Changing African Landscape

While the Church in Africa has long upheld monogamy, the discussions around polygamy have gained momentum, reflecting shifts in societal norms. In the working document for the global synodal process, published in October 2022, polygamy was mentioned alongside other challenging family situations that the Church must address, such as remarried divorcees and single parents.

During synodal discussions earlier this year, participants—including a polygamous man from South Sudan—shared personal stories about their involvement in the Church. Despite his polygamous status, the man described his active role in his diocese, highlighting the tension many African Catholics feel between their cultural traditions and the Church’s sacramental life. He remains deeply committed to his faith but cannot receive Communion due to his marital situation.

These personal experiences underscore the need for the Church to find ways to integrate polygamous families into the community while upholding its teachings. Cardinal Ambongo acknowledged that this issue requires careful theological and pastoral consideration, not quick solutions.

Toward a More Inclusive Dialogue

The upcoming document represents a step toward fostering a more inclusive dialogue within the African Church, one that recognizes the realities of polygamous relationships while striving to bring these individuals closer to the Church. The cardinal emphasized that this journey of discernment is not about compromising on doctrine but about offering meaningful pastoral care.

As the Synod on Synodality continues its discussions in Rome this month, polygamy remains an important topic, especially for African participants. The final synod document called on SECAM to continue theological and pastoral discernment on the issue. This ongoing reflection signifies the Church’s commitment to navigating the challenges of modern African society with compassion, understanding, and faithfulness to its mission.

Ultimately, the pastoral response to polygamy will require the Church to balance doctrinal clarity with cultural sensitivity, ensuring that all Catholics—regardless of their circumstances—feel welcome and supported in their spiritual journeys.

Thank you for reading our content. If you would like to receive ZENIT’s daily e-mail news, you can subscribe for free through this link.

The post African Bishops to Address Pastoral Response to Polygamy in Upcoming Document appeared first on ZENIT - English.

***

Today, in the Gospel of the liturgy (cf. Mk 10:2-16), Jesus speaks to us about marital love. As they have already done on some other occasions, some Pharisees ask him a provocative question about a controversial issue: a husband’s divorce from his wife. They would like to drag him into a quarrel, but he does not let them. Instead, he welcomes the opportunity to draw their attention to a more important discussion: the value of love between a man and a woman.

In Jesus’ time, the condition of the woman in marriage was greatly disadvantaged compared to that of the man: the husband could send his wife away, divorce her, even for trivial reasons, and this would be justified by legalistic interpretations of Scripture. For this reason, the Lord brings his interlocutors back to the demands of love. He reminds them that woman and man were willed by the Creator as equal in dignity and complementary in diversity. In this way they would be each the other’s helper, companion, but they would also be mutually stimulating and a challenge to grow (cf. Gen 2:20-23).

And for this to happen, he emphasizes the need for their mutual gift to be full, to be engaging, to be without «half measures» – this is love – that it be the beginning of a new life (cf. Mk 10:7; Gen 2:24), destined to last not «as long as everything goes well» but forever, accepting each other and living united as «one flesh» (cf. Mk 10:8; Gen 2:24). Of course, this is not easy, this requires fidelity, even in difficulties, it requires respect, honesty, simplicity (cf. Mk 10:15). It requires being open to confrontation, sometimes even to discussion, when it is necessary, but also to be always ready to forgive and to be reconciled to the other. And I tell you: husband and wife, fight as much as you like, provided you always make peace, before the day is over! Do you know why? Because the cold war that comes the next day is dangerous. “And tell me, father, how should we make peace?” – “A gentle caress, like this, is enough”, but never end your day without making peace.

Let us not forget, also, that for spouses it is essential to be open to the gift of life, to the gift of children, that are the most beautiful fruit of love, the greatest blessing from God, a source of joy and hope for every home and all of society. Have children! Yesterday, I received a great consolation. It was the day of the Gendarmerie Corps, and a gendarme came with his eight children! It was beautiful to see him. Please, be open to life, to what God may send you.

Dear brothers and sisters, love is demanding, yes, but it is beautiful, and the more we allow ourselves to be involved by it, the more we discover true happiness in it. And now, let each one of us ask themselves: How is my love? Is it faithful? Is it generous? Is it creative? How are our families? Are they open to life, to the gift of children?

May the Virgin Mary help Christian spouses. Let us turn to her in spiritual union with the faithful gathered at the Shrine of Pompeii for the traditional Supplication to Our Lady of the Holy Rosary.

Thank you for reading our content. If you would like to receive ZENIT’s daily e-mail news, you can subscribe for free through this link.

The post The value of love between man and woman briefly explained by the Pope appeared first on ZENIT - English.

The survey delved deeper into public opinion by exploring specific scenarios, such as divorce due to «irreconcilable differences.» Even in this context, public sentiment remained largely divided, with 42% opposing and 34% supporting the idea.

Dr. Racidon Bernarte, Oculum’s Director of Research, commented on the findings during a press briefing, noting the significant resistance to the concept of divorce in general. «The results indicate a substantial opposition to the broader acceptance of divorce in the Philippines,» Bernarte stated.

However, the study also highlighted a notable shift in opinion when divorce is considered in cases involving «abuse» within a marriage. In such situations, public support for divorce rose to 51%, with only 31% opposing it. Bernarte emphasized this point, stating, «Public opinion becomes more favorable towards divorce when it is framed within the context of abusive relationships.»

The survey, conducted in partnership with APCoRE, Areopagus Communications, Inc., and PressOne.PH, included face-to-face interviews with adults from various regions: 300 participants each from the National Capital Region, the rest of Luzon, the Visayas, and Mindanao. The study has a margin of error of ±3 percentage points and a 95% confidence level.

As the Philippines continues to grapple with the complex issue of divorce, these findings suggest that while there is some openness to the idea under specific circumstances, the majority of Filipinos remain hesitant to embrace its full legalization.

Thank you for reading our content. If you would like to receive ZENIT’s daily e-mail news, you can subscribe for free through this link.

The post Growing Opposition to Divorce in the Philippines, Survey Reveals appeared first on ZENIT - English.

(ZENIT News – IFS / Washington, 07.27.2024).- If a married person has a secret relationship, is it an affair if it doesn’t involve sex or even any physical contact? If such a relationship involved only emotional intimacy, is it “cheating?” Most Americans say yes. In a national sample of 2,000 U.S. adults (1), 76% felt that a married person having a secret emotional relationship in real life constituted a form of infidelity; 72% of the participants asserted that an online secret emotional relationship would also constitute infidelity. Thus, neither sexual desire nor sexual contact are prerequisites for infidelity.

The numbers were even higher among the married individuals in that same sample: 80% felt that a secret emotional relationship in real life was unfaithful, and 76% felt that a secret emotional relationship online would be cheating. Even without sexual engagement, then, most married individuals desired to be the only object of their spouse or partners’ emotional affection.

Although scholars have studied extramarital sexual affairs for decades (2), much less is known about the causes, purposes, and consequences of engaging in intimate emotional relations with someone other than one’s spouse. This study sought to understand the individual, attitudinal, relational, and behavioral issues that are associated with emotional affairs. It complements research on sexual affairs and adds to our knowledge about different types of infidelity in the twenty-first century.

The following analysis is similar to my article on predictors of sexual infidelity. It uses the same data as the previous brief, the iFidelity Survey. The survey research company that collected the iFidelity survey data, YouGov, did so in the last two months of 2019, when 2,000 participants were surveyed. Of these, 1,313 were married or had been previously married, and I used data from these “ever-married” individuals for this brief (3).

The Numbers

Given the strong attitudes against emotional infidelity, how many married or formerly married participants of the iFidelity survey reported engaging in one? From the ever-married group of the iFidelity data, Figure 1 shows that 7% of participants reported having a strictly emotional affair. That compares with 5% of participants who reported having an affair that was sexual, and 10% who reported that their affair(s) was sexual and emotional. Not shown in Figure 1 are the 78% of ever-married participants who reported that they had not engaged in either type of cheating while married.

Among those married or formerly married participants who reported having an affair, Figure 2 shows that gender distinguishes the type of affair. Men constituted a larger percent of the sex-only and sex/emotion combined affairs (75% and 56%, respectively). Women reported 56% of the emotional-only affairs.

Predictors of Emotional Affairs

In addition to understanding how often emotional affairs occur, it is also important to understand the factors that are correlated with having an emotional affair. I investigated this question in my final analyses (4).

Individual characteristics. I tested four individual characteristics to see whether they were associated with reporting an emotional affair—age, education, gender, and race/ethnicity. Age mattered. The older individuals were, the more likely they were to report having had an emotional affair. Given that age was also positively associated with reporting an affair that was both sexual and emotional in nature, this may simply be an artifact of older participants having had more years in which to have an affair.

Education was also related to reporting an emotional-only affair. Those who dropped out of high school were more likely to report an emotional affair relative to the group of participants who had “some college.” Neither gender nor race/ethnicity in this sample were associated with the likelihood of having an emotional-only affair.

Attitudes. After testing the demographic characteristics, I added three attitudes to the statistical model: participants’ personal feelings about the importance of religion, their feelings about divorce, and whether participants felt that an emotional affair was “cheating.” Believing that having a secret emotional relationship is a form of cheating was related to being less likely to report an emotional affair. The other two attitudes did not predict having an emotional-only affair. Furthermore, with these attitudes included in the model, education was no longer related to having an emotional-only affair.

Relationship Quality. The third model added marital satisfaction and marital stability. Reporting high relationship stability was related to being less likely to report an emotional affair. Marital satisfaction was not related.

Behavior. Finally, three behaviors were added to the model—flirting with individuals who are not one’s spouse, viewing pornography (whether online or in print), and following an old flame on social media. I chose these behavioral variables because less than half of the iFidelity participants felt that these actions constituted “infidelity.” In the model, all three behaviors were positively related to reporting an emotional affair.

Additionally, when these behavioral variables were included in the model, all the other variables that were previously statistically significant were no longer related to having an emotional affair.  Consequently, despite most participants not considering these three behaviors to be cheating, the behaviors were related to having emotional affairs—which most participants did consider to be cheating.

Figure 3 shows the relationship of emotional affairs given one’s behaviors.

Protecting Your Marriage

Most of the participants in our survey, married or not, believed that having a secret emotional relationship outside of one’s marriage constitutes a form of infidelity. A higher percentage of individuals believed that having sex outside of marriage was cheating compared to those who believed that having an emotional relationship was cheating. However, the fact that 76% felt that secret emotional relationships constituted unfaithfulness suggests that an emotional affair can still greatly harm a marriage.

The only predictors of an emotional affair in the full model were behavioral (5)—using pornography, following an old flame online, and flirting with someone other than a spouse. This suggests a course of action for married people who want to avoid falling into the trap of an emotional affair. That is, they should avoid behaviors that could lead to emotional infidelity—even if a majority of individuals do not consider such behaviors to be «cheating” (6).

7Jeffrey Dew is a fellow of the National Marriage Project and a former fellow of the Wheatley Institution.

Notes:

1. The iFidelity Survey was sponsored by the Wheatley Institution at Brigham Young University, the National Marriage Project, and the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University.
2. Fincham and May (2017).
3. The figures and text clarify those analyses which used just the “ever married” participants or the whole sample.
4. In the analysis, I used the ever-married participants from the iFidelity data. I used multinomial and multivariate logistic regressions regarding the likelihood of having a sex-only, emotional-only, or sexual/emotional affair relative to having no affair at all. In this paper, I only address the contrast between those reporting an “emotional only” affair, and those who reported having no affairs.
5. In the full model, identifying as Hispanic was positively associated with reporting an emotional-only affair. This association was not statistically significant in the previous models.
6. In the full iFidelity sample, only 42% of participants felt that flirting was a form of infidelity, 32% felt that following an old girlfriend/boyfriend online was a form of infidelity, and 30% of participants felt that using pornography (without the knowledge and consent of one’s spouse) was a form of infidelity.

Thank you for reading our content. If you would like to receive ZENIT’s daily e-mail news, you can subscribe for free through this link.

The post What Counts as ‘Cheating’ in Marriage? Emotional Infidelity in a National Sample appeared first on ZENIT - English.

The bishops acknowledge the secular nature of the Filipino state and the religious freedom enjoyed by its citizens. They emphasize that their role is not to dictate state policy but to share their belief that a genuine marriage is indissoluble. They argue that legalizing divorce does not necessarily protect the common good or family welfare, citing research and statistics to support their position.

With Catholics making up 80% of the Filipino population, the influence of the Church is substantial. However, public opinion is shifting, with recent surveys indicating that nearly half of Filipinos now support the legalization of divorce. President Ferdinand Marcos Jr. has signaled openness to the idea, suggesting that the country may be on the brink of significant legal change.

Pro-divorce advocates frame the issue as a fundamental human right, akin to access to healthcare and education. In 2023, a Senate committee approved a bill to legalize divorce, which is now awaiting a second reading, possibly in the coming year.

In response, the bishops have reiterated the biblical teaching, «What God has joined together, let no man separate» (Matthew 19:6). They stress that the Catholic Church upholds this teaching even in countries where civil divorce is legal, underscoring that not all marriages are deemed to be «joined by God.»

Using the Tagalog phrase «maghunosdili muna tayo at mag-isip-isip» (let us calm down and think carefully), the bishops urge caution among those eager to legalize absolute divorce. They question whether making it easier for couples to dissolve their marriages civilly is truly in the best interest of society, especially when such decisions might be driven by temporary misunderstandings or conflicts.

The bishops acknowledge that some marriages are indeed irreparably broken, but they warn against hasty decisions. They cite statistics from countries where divorce is legal, showing high failure rates for subsequent marriages—48% for the first marriage, 60% for the second, and 70% for the third, according to the National Center for Health Statistics.

While they do not seek to impose rules on civil marriage, the bishops hope that lawmakers will seriously consider the profound implications of legalizing divorce. They call for thoughtful dialogue with citizens, emphasizing the importance of maintaining the integrity of the family unit as enshrined in the Filipino Constitution.

The CBCP highlights the unique constitutional provision that recognizes the Filipino family as the foundation of the nation, with marriage as an inviolable social institution protected by the state. They argue that this should be a source of national pride and a testament to the country’s commitment to family values.

Finally, the bishops point out that there are already legal remedies available for troubled marriages, suggesting that both the Church and the state should work together to enhance these solutions rather than resorting to divorce. They believe the absence of civil divorce laws should make couples more deliberate in their decision to marry, reflecting the high value placed on family as the cornerstone of society.

Thank you for reading our content. If you would like to receive ZENIT’s daily e-mail news, you can subscribe for free through this link.

The post Philippines: debate on legalization of divorce heated appeared first on ZENIT - English.

Tove’s and Bjørn’s journey to a new identity began when they embraced the Christian faith. “We became completely new creatures. The old disappeared and everything became new,” they say with conviction. Fore them, this transformation was not the result of human therapies or methods, but a profound interior change, driven by their relationship with God.

Struggle and Testimony

In the 1990s, the couple involved themselves intensely in the opposition to the Law of Domestic Partnerships in Norway. Despite facing considerable opposition, their objective was not to judge, but to be witnesses of what they had experienced. “We are not called to be judges, but witnesses. We can only tell our experience and hope that it brings hope and faith to those that struggle,” they affirm.

After 20 years in an orphanage, Bjørn found himself in Oslo’s gay community in search of company. Although he found a social circle, he never found real happiness. In 1972, after an overdose that almost cost him his life, Bjørn found consolation in the Gospel, and decided to become a Christian. That moment marked the beginning of his transformation.

Tove, on the other hand, struggled with depression and drug abuse after her father’s death. After years of suffering in psychiatric institutions, she found refuge and hope in a Christian rehabilitation center. “God made me a new creature and gave me a new mind,” says Tove.

An Unexpected Love: An Open Home

The love story between Tove and Bjørn is both amazing and inspiring. After years of friendship and spiritual growth, Bjørn realized that he was ready to get married.  “My love for Tove had grown and she became the most important for me,” says Bjørn. They married in 1987 and, since then, they have shared a life full of purpose and faith.

During their 36 years together,Tove and Bjørn have kept their home open for those in need of support and guidance. They have lived in different places following what they consider God’s direction to help others. “From a human perspective, it’s impossible to understand what has happened to us. Many might think that it’s an achievement of ours, but that is totally mistaken. Only a supernatural force of God was able to liberate us completely,” concludes Tove.

The Refstad’s story is not only a testimony of faith and redemption, but also a call to understanding and mutual respect. Those that struggle to be understood and accepted must also offer that generosity to others,” says Tove. With their experience, they hope to inspire others and show that transformation is possible, not through human methods, but through a profound connection with the divine.

The post She Was Lesbian, He Homosexual: The Inspiring Story of Tove and Bjørn Refstad” Marriage appeared first on ZENIT - English.

On Thursday afternoon, June 6, the Holy Father, accompanied by Monsignor Rino Fisichella, Pro-Prefect of the Dicastery for Evangelization, met with some 30 families of a condominium of the parish community of Saint Bridget of Sweden, in the popular Roman neighbourhood of Palmarola (Borgata Ottavia zone), on the city’s most western periphery, for the third stage of the initiative for the Year of Prayer. The Pontiff talked with young families with children, elderly people alone, grandparents and young people — in an area adjacent to the building, near garages and unfinished walls –, about the importance of “protecting the family” and, as usual, answered the questions of those present.

“We defend the family, which is oxygen to raise children,” stressed the Pope. “In families there are also storms. If the parents quarrel, it’s normal, but they must make peace before the day ends, because the next day’s cold war is terrible.”

To some young people who asked the Holy Father how to increase their faith, he answered that “the only way is witness.” “You have the responsibility to take history forward,” stressed the Pope. “One of the beautiful things of young people is that they get up again. We all fall in life, but what is important is not to [stay down] if we slip. “

They also talked about the Church as community of people, and not only as places of worship, much less present in this neighbourhood than in other parts of the city. A lady expressed how excited she was to see the Pope “in front of an unfinished brick wall,” because “it made him feel part of the community.” “The Church begins to be built in the community,” said the Pontiff, adding that “a parish where children aren’t heard and the elderly are effaced is not a true Christian community. Don’t forget, the elderly are the memory and the children are the promise.”

Two parents asked the Holy Father how to keep the faith in these difficult times and how to educate their children in the light of the faith.

“The first advice is love between the parents, because the children must be able to feel that Daddy and Mommy love each other,” answered the Pope. If you have to quarrel, don’t do so in front of the children.” Pope Francis also stressed the value of conversation with the children. “Never stop talking with them. Education is done by talking; never leave them alone. Make them understand that they can talk about everything.”

On previous occasions, Pope Francis had talked with young people of the parish of Saint Bernadette Soubirous, on May 24, and, on April 11 he reflected further on the topic of “Thanksgiving Prayer” with the children of the parish of Saint John Mary, preparing for their First Communion.

Before concluding, the Holy Father gave Rosaries to the families and a painting of the Virgin Mary with the Child Jesus, which will be kept in the building as a souvenir of today’s meeting.

Thank you for reading our content. If you would like to receive ZENIT’s daily e-mail news, you can subscribe for free through this link.

The post Pope Francis Goes to Rome Condominium to Answer Residents’ Questions appeared first on ZENIT - English.

***

It is good to applaud when someone says “good morning”, because very often we do not greet each other. It is good, the applause to “good morning”. And thank you to Gianluigi and those who are working for this initiative. I am pleased to be with you again because, as you know, the theme of natality is very close to my heart. Indeed, every gift of a child reminds us that God has confidence in humanity, as the motto “Being there, more youth, more future” highlights. Our “being there” is not the result of chance: God wanted us, He has a grand and unique plan for each one of us, no-one excluded. From this perspective, it is important to meet, to work together to promote natality with realism, foresight, and courage. And I would like to reflect a little on these three key words.

Photo: Vatican Media

[I Realism]

First:  realism. In the past, there was no lack of studies and theories warning about the number of inhabitants on earth, because the birth of too many children would have created economic imbalances, a lack of resources, and pollution. I was always struck by how these theses, now long outdated, spoke of  human beings as if they were  problems. But human life  is not a problem, it is a gift. And at the root of pollution and starvation in the world are not children being born, but the choices of those who think only of themselves, the delirium of an unbridled, blind and rampant materialism, of a consumerism that, like an evil virus, undermines the existence of people and society at the root. The problem is not  how many of us there are in the world, but  the world that we are building – this is the problem; not children, but selfishness, which creates injustice and structures of sin, to the point of weaving unhealthy interdependencies between social, economic and political systems. [1]

Selfishness makes us deaf to the voice of God, who loves first and teaches how to love, and to the voice of our brothers and sisters beside us; it anaesthetizes the heart, it makes us live through objects, no longer understanding why; it induces us to have many goods, while no longer knowing how to do good. And houses fill up with objects and are emptied of children, becoming very sad places (cf.  Homily of the Mass for the Congolese community, 1 December 2019). There is no shortage of dogs and cats… These are not lacking. There is a shortage of children. The problem of our world is not the children who are born: it is selfishness, consumerism and individualism, which make people satiated, lonely and unhappy.

The birth rate is the first indicator of the hope of a people. Without children and young people, a country loses its desire for the future. In Italy, for example, the average age is currently forty-seven years. And there are countries in central Europe with an average age of 24 years. Forty-seven years, and new negative records continue to be reached. Unfortunately, if we were to take these data as a base, we would be forced to say that Italy is progressively losing its hope in tomorrow, like the rest of Europe: the Old Continent is increasingly turning into the continent of the old, a tired and resigned continent, so caught up in exorcising loneliness and anguish that it no longer knows how to savour, in the civilization of giving, the true beauty of life.

Despite many words and much commitment, we are not managing to turn the tide. Why? Why are we unable to stem this haemorrhage of life?

And there is a fact that a scholar of demography told me. At the moment, the most income-generating investments are weapons manufacturing and contraceptives. One destroys life; the other prevents life. And these are the most profitable investments. What future can we expect? It is bad.

Photo: Vatican Media

[II Foresight]

The matter is complex, but this cannot and must not become an alibi for not addressing it. There is a need for foresight, which is the second key word. At institutional level, there is a need for effective policies, for courageous, concrete and long-term choices, to sow today so that children can reap tomorrow. There is a need for greater commitment on the part of all governments, in order for the young generations to be put in the condition to realize their legitimate dreams. These means implementing serious and effective choices in favour of the family. For example, to put a mother in a position where she does not have to choose between work and childcare; or to free many young couples from the burden of job insecurity and the impossibility of buying a house.

Then, it is important to promote, at social level, a culture of generosity and intergenerational solidarity, to review habits and lifestyles, renouncing what is superfluous in order to give the youngest a hope for tomorrow, as is the case in many families. Let us not forget: the future of children and grandchildren is built also on the aching backs of years of toil and hidden sacrifices by parents and grandparents, in whose embrace there is the silent and discreet gift of an entire life’s work. And on the other hand, the recognition and gratitude towards them from those who grow up is the healthy response that, like water combined with cement, makes society solid and strong. These are the values to uphold, this is the culture to spread, if we want to have a tomorrow.

Photo: Vatican Media

[III Courage]

Third word: courage. And here I address the young in particular. I know that for many of you the future can seem daunting, and that amidst the declining birth rate, wars, pandemics and climate change, it is not easy to keep hope alive. But do not give up, because tomorrow is not something ineluctable: we build it together, and in this “together” first of all we find the Lord. It is He who, in the Gospel, teaches us that “But I say to you”: very often the Lord says “But I say to you”, which changes things (cf. Mt 5:38-48), a “but” that has the perfume of salvation, that prepares something “out of the blue”, that prepares a rupture. Let us make this “but” ours, all of us, here and now. Let us not resign ourselves to a script that has already been written by others: let us row to reverse the course, even if it means going against the tide! As do the mothers and fathers of the Foundation for Natality, who every year organize this event, this “building site of hope” that helps us think, and which is growing, increasingly involving the world of politics, business, banks, sport, entertainment, and journalism.

But the future is built not only by having children. Another very important part is missing: grandparents. Today there is a culture of hiding grandparents away, sending them to rest homes. Now things have changed a bit because of retirement – unfortunately it has – but that is the tendency: to discard grandparents. An interesting story comes to my mind. There was a nice family, where the grandfather lived with them. But over time the grandfather aged, and when he ate, he got dirty… And the father had a small table made for the kitchen so that the grandfather could eat there, and so they could invite people over. One day, he came home and found one of the small children working with some wood.

Photo: Vatican Media

“What are you making?”

“A table, daddy”.

“But why?”

“For you, when you will be old”.

Please, do not forget grandparents. When I used to visit a lot of rest homes, in the other diocese, I used to ask the grandparents

– I am thinking of one case:

“How many children do you have?”

“Many”.

“Ah, good. And do they come to visit you?”

“Yes, they come all the time”.

Photo: Vatican Media

As I was leaving, the nurse said to me: “They never come”. Lonely grandparents. Rejected grandparents. This is cultural suicide. The future is made by the young and the elderly, together: courage and memory, together. Please, when speaking about natality, which is the future, let us also talk about grandparents, who are not the past: they help the future. Please, have children, lots of them, but also take care of grandparents. It is very important.

Dear friends, thank you for what you do, thank you all. Thank you for your courage. I am close to you, and I accompany you with my prayer. Please, I ask you, do not forget to pray for me. But pray for me, not against! Thank you.

And this “for and not against”, I say it because once I was finishing an audience over there. Twenty metres away, where the barrier was, there was a lady, an old lady, tiny, beautiful eyes. She began to say, “Come, come”. She was nice. I went over to her: “Madam, what is your name?”. She told me her name. “And how old are you?” “Eighty-seven”. “But what do you do? What do you eat to stay so strong?” “I eat ravioli, I make them myself”. And she gave me the recipe for the ravioli. And then I said to her, “Madam, please, pray for me”. “I do it every day”. And, jokingly, I said to her, “But pray for me, not against!” And the little old lady, smiling, said to me, “Be careful, Father. They pray against you in there”. Clever, eh! A bit anticlerical.

And please: for, not against. For.

Photo: Vatican Media

Thank you for reading our content. If you would like to receive ZENIT’s daily e-mail news, you can subscribe for free through this link.

The post In 3 points: the Pope’s fabulous pro-birth speech (including grandparents) appeared first on ZENIT - English.