The Abuse Many Refuse to See: Why Are Two Out of Three Victims Not Believed?

(ZENIT News – Porta Luz / Santiago, 10.06.2026).- There are forms of sexual abuse that are harder for us to recognize than others. This is not necessarily because they are more concealed, but because they contradict the image we hold of abuse and of the perpetrator. For this reason, it is no coincidence that when a victim speaks out, they are not believed two times out of three.

An adolescent can be the perpetrator of sexual abuse. A woman can commit sexual abuse. An adult considered trustworthy, and integrated into a religious community, can exploit that position of trust to commit abuse. Furthermore, a child can become a victim even through a screen, without the abusive adult ever having made physical contact with them.

These realities have driven the work of CISMAI in Milan during the third leg of the traveling congress titled «Transforming Crises into Resources: Child Protection Facing the Challenge of Change» — the final event of which will take place in Rome on November 20. The Milan session did not aim to compile a catalog of new forms of abuse, but rather to pose an uncomfortable question: «What is it that we still fail to see?» This question is linked to another blind spot, perhaps even harder to acknowledge: that even those charged with protection can make mistakes. How, then, can we build a protection system capable not only of intervening but also of continuously questioning itself?

In his address at the congress, as reported by the Italian digital outlet Vita, Monsignor Luis Manuel Ali Herrera, Secretary of the Pontifical Commission for the Protection of Minors, highlighted that «on July 3, we submitted a document to the Pope establishing a reference framework for prevention. We hope it will soon be approved for the entire Church.»

The Unthinkable

«There is an important word we must place at the center: ‘the unthinkable,'» stated Marianna Giordano, a social worker and president of CISMAI, at the meeting in Milan.

«Because when faced with something we cannot bring ourselves to accept, our initial reaction may be to push it out of our consciousness. This applies even to those who ought to recognize the warning signs.» Proof of this lies in the fact that when a victim breaks the secret binding all the parties involved, to use Alice Miller’s words, and reveals the abuse, they are not believed two times out of three. This point was highlighted by Dante Ghezzi, a psychologist and psychotherapist at the Tiama Center in Milan who works with both victims and perpetrators of abuse.

The Adolescent: The Most Complex Type of Offender to Address

One of the most challenging realities to address is that of the adolescent who has committed sexual abuse. While the offender is culpable, the educational objective must prevail given their age. The issue is not merely a legal one but a cultural one as well: what do we do with a young person who has committed an act of abuse?

Luca Villa, a prosecutor at the Milan Juvenile Court, notes that 207 and 209 cases involving sexual abuse committed by adolescents against other adolescents were recorded in the last two years, double the figure from a decade ago. Cases of adolescents abusing children are very rare. Undoubtedly, these figures reflect an increase in reported incidents, linked to greater public awareness and a greater willingness to speak about abuse, though it is likely that the actual number of offenses has also risen. Proceedings involving the trafficking of child pornography among minors, a topic that receives significant attention, have remained stable at around sixty cases per year.

«Addressing the offender does not mean diverting attention from the victim, but rather considering how to prevent the abuse from recurring and what treatment might foster change,» stated Villa. From this perspective, the government’s decision to exclude parole for adolescents who have committed sexual abuse — enacted via Decree 123/2023, known as the ‘Caivano Decree’ — is critical; this stance was subsequently upheld by Constitutional Court Ruling 203/2025. This automatic application of the law contrasts with the very essence of the juvenile justice process, which rejects such automatic mechanisms and flips the Court’s own perspective, according to which the educational purpose takes precedence over general preventive aims in cases involving minors. «It is as if they are unable to access it,» Villa notes.

When the Perpetrator Is a Woman

There is another image that is difficult for us to focus on: that of a woman as a perpetrator of sexual abuse. Donata Bianchi, an expert in social policy and prevention, presented the RADA project, aimed at recognizing and gaining deeper insight into the phenomenon of women who perpetrate sexual abuse. This exploratory research initiative was spearheaded by CISMAI in collaboration with the Artemisia Center against violence. She explained that certain myths persist in the literature: that only men commit abuse, and that abuse committed by a woman is less serious.

Even professionals struggle to view a woman as a perpetrator of abuse. The role of caregiver can serve as a shield. This is partly because detection tools have long been designed with the male population primarily in mind, and partly because the social and media context may interpret the events as a form of sexual initiation rather than abuse. In fact, abuse committed by women is perceived as less serious, despite involving the same degree of intrusion, and the female perpetrator is more frequently described as mentally ill or manipulated by a man, thereby denying her capacity for action. «Prison sentences are shorter, convictions are lighter, and media coverage fades quickly and prematurely,» states Bianchi.

A Place That Should Be Safe

Then there is the Church. Here, the unthinkable nature of abuse carries particular weight, as it occurs in a place families perceive as safe and trustworthy. «Let us speak about this not to stir up controversy, but because we want to take action; the stance we wish to adopt is not that of silent spectators,» stated Giordano while introducing the remarks of Sergio Piasentin, an expert by virtue of having experienced it firsthand, and Monsignor Luis Manuel Ali Herrera, Secretary of the Pontifical Commission for the Protection of Minors.

Piasentin shared his story, a story of abuse that lasted ten years, from the age of 7 to 17, within the parish. «The Church did nothing; in fact, it made me feel guilty. I am not here to level accusations, but to say that greater credibility and a greater capacity for action are needed to prevent abuse and to care of and protect victims. Above all, I want to know what is being done today to ensure there are no more victims.» His is not merely a plea for the protection of children; it is a call for adults –parents, educators, priests, and catechists — to be prepared and to have the courage to say, «No, you cannot be around children.»

A Colombian, psychotherapist, and priest for 34 years, Monsignor Luis Manuel Ali Herrera treated a victim of sexual abuse within the Church fifteen years ago: «Since then, my life as a priest has changed,» he stated. In late 2014, Pope Francis appointed him to the Pontifical Commission for the Protection of Minors, and subsequently, in 2024, named him its Secretary.

Monsignor Herrera has acknowledged that the Church’s response is not uniform: in some places, prevention measures were implemented twenty years ago; in others, much more recently; and in others, they have not yet begun. «The Church is an institution that has not yet found a solution to guarantee that this will not happen again,» he admitted, «but we have defined a framework for prevention — based on seven principles to which we are committed –, which was presented to the Pope on July 3, and we hope it will soon be approved for the entire Church.»

The seven points encompass not only ongoing training but also a commitment to establishing verifiable accountability: safe environments, listening to victims and survivors, professional case management, engagement with civil authorities, and systems for accountability and audits.

That is precisely where the challenge lies: not merely learning to recognize abuse when it appears before our eyes, but building a system capable of detecting what, due to culture, fear, or habit, we still refuse to see.