(ZENIT News / Lisbon, 08.04.2023).- His name is Caleb, he is American and he is 29 years old. On the afternoon of Friday, August 4, he offered his testimony at the ninth station of the Stations of the Cross for young people with the Pope in Lisbon. It is an inspiring and transforming testimony of what God’s grace does in people’s lives. We offer it below:
***
There are times when I think back to my younger days and I feel a deep pain, and yet, at the same time, a great joy. The reality of my life is that I am one of the lost sheep that Jesus came running after. I grew up in a very broken household with a father who didn’t realize his worth or identity in Christ and was severely broken. As a result of his wounds, he wounded others. One of my escapes from home life was being at church. It always felt as if it was my home away from home. I was raised in various different Christian traditions but I always had a desire within my soul for more. I wanted that encounter with Jesus that everyone around me had but I had yet to experience myself. Little did I know that all that time, He was right by my side.
Approaching my high school graduation, my parents went through a horrendous divorce and my world spiraled out of control. I sank deep into depression, I struggled with self harm, became a drug addict, and had a desire to end my life. I let my pain lead me to embracing my selfish desires. Everything I had known was gone, and I had no sense of direction. My head was in such a dark place from all the pain, and I searched for a reason to live. The Lord heard my cries from the pit, and sent me the most beautiful gift. One who would eventually become my bride.
Once I met my wife, I found a reason to live and a desire to grow in my faith. I wanted the passion she had for Jesus but battling with the ghosts of my past, it always felt unattainable. After dating for a while, we separated for a time, and I was faced with a choice to make. I could either allow Jesus to fully take control of my life or fall back into my old habits. By His grace, I pressed on. As I apprenticed in a tattoo shop, I saw the pain of those forgotten by society, and it was there I truly saw Jesus for who He was.
After much healing, my wife and I got back together and got married. We became heavily involved in our church, and I was tasked with passing on the faith to the students but I realized I didn’t understand the fullness of the faith. I started researching the early church in both biblical and historical resources. To make a long story short, it was the message of John 6, Jesus in the Eucharist, that brought me home into full communion with the Catholic Church. As I reflect, I have realized that the father wound that I’ve had has caused me to have an identity crisis, but after embracing the identity that my Heavenly Father has given me, the wounds I have had have finally started to heal. Being united fully to Jesus in the Eucharist is what has brought healing to my soul. After tasting all that this world has to offer, He is the only one who has truly satisfied me.
